An Epic Unlucky Sunday Afternoon
by Onion Riffs
Summary: Vita-chan returns to where it all began and takes on Lucky Star once again.


_It was yet another boring, lonely Sunday for Vita. Having previously decided she enjoyed reading bad fanfiction, she sat down at the computer to look up some more. She browsed the categories for a while, none really piquing her interest. Finally, she decided to go back to the where it all began._

_She clicked on the Lucky Star category, and soon found a suitable victim…_

Epic Lucky star Adventures.

_Oh, that's a good sign._

Episode 1

_The Phantom Author__._

(The Beginning)

In the Beginning this story started with a 17- Year old half American and half Japanese boy...

_Half American and half Japanese? STU ALERT!_

The boy was skating on the skating area

_Was he also breathing the breathing air?_

on San Fransisco learning with his skating tricks.

_What._

His name was Jack Miller, he has an Brown hair, Blue eyes and a brown cap on his head and quite handsome. But also he got Supernatural powers that he learn it from his Japanese grandfather, (But he's living as a normal boy hiding his supernatural powers from anybody really.)

_What_.

After skateboarding...

He went back to his home and he went to his room playing a video game called C*** of d**y: m****n wa***re 2 on his X*** 3*0.

_I just __**love**__ C of dy: m n wa re 2._

Jack: well then that's enough for today tommorow is vacation!

In the next morning his clock ringed *RRRRRRRIIIIINNNNNNNNNGG*~*Click*

_The grammar and spelling, it __hurts__._

Jack: *GAAAaaawwwwnnn*...what time is it?

_What the hell is a gawn?_

Then Jack looked on his clock its 5:59.

_As in the clock itself is 5:59._

Jack: it's too early. Then he looked up on his calendar near the alarm clock it's June 11

He stands up from the bed then...After he changed his clothes and after breakfast and after school he went home then finally.

_So today __wasn't__ vacation?_

Jack: Finally! Vacation! now i can do whatever i want.

Jack was playing H**o r**ch on his x*** 3*0.

_So it's vacation, and he just plays video games all day. Exactly like he was doing before._

Meanwhile his japanese mother came home and she got a letter for her son.

Jack's mother: Jack where are you?

Jacks: I'm here mom!

Then his mother came upstairs and went to his room and talk with her son.

Jack's mother: Jack! you've got a letter from your grandmother.

Jack: My grandmother?

_"Metal Gear?"_

Jack's mother: Yes you are going to visit your grandmother, your aunt and your cousins in japan

Jack: wait a sec? I'm going to japan? that's awesome! This will be the greatest vacation ever! Jack was filled with happiness and joy.

_Jack also liked to talk in third person._

Jack's mother: your grandmother will be very proud if you meet her.

_I beg to differ._

Next Morning he packed up his clothes and his parents brought him towards to the San Fransisco International Airport Airport.

_Double the airport goodness!_

Jack's father: Well then can you do this alone?

Jack: Don't worry dad I can handle my self.

_I doubt that._

Jack's mother: Take care of your self... ok honey?

Jack: I will mom.

Finally he got into the airport after take off his parent's waved at him for Goodluck.

_This implies that the airport itself took off and is flying away._

Good Morning Ladies and Gentleman! This is the Captain speaking the flight announced that the plane will be heading to about 25 hours thank you for listening.

_Oh no._

After a 29 hours flight until it reaches to Tokyo.

Good Day Ladies and Gentleman! This is the Captain speaking that we are prepairing for Landing please remain seated and put your seatbelts on.

_Is... is this dialogue or not?_

A few minutes later the airplane landed safetly.

Until when he got out of the plane, Suddenly at the hall he saw a woman holding a namesign and it's written Jack Miller.

_Jack was guided into a small alleyway and killed there after following the woman._

Jack: ehem...excuse me madam I'am Jack Miller.

Woman: You are? come this way there is an old woman waiting for you.

Jack: Oh thank you.

_Don't question how she knows this, just follow her!_

After he got out of the airport he finally meet his grandmother and her name was Shikari tatsuke.

_What the hell does this have to do with __Lucky Star__?_

Jack's mother

_Who's teleported here._

lead him to her house then she shows his room for him. Then later on it was dinner in the evening.

_As opposed to breakfast._

Jack and his grandmother are talking about each other

Shikari: So how was your flight?

Jack: Well then... good and safe. (well jack didn't said much but i'll tell you what happened).

_I'd rather you didn't._

Flashback:

This is how it happens since jack landed on Honolulu international airport. jack was standing in the center of the airport and he was looking for gate heading to tokio.

_But I thought he was going to Tokyo._

Jack: alright then so where's the gate?

Meanwhile a bunch of three guys are wearing ski masks and they are holding AK 47 the man points his gun up on the air and press the triger *BANG!~BANG!~BANG!*

_Luckily, the had only pulled the triger, which produced harmless sound effects._

Terrorist leader: EVERYBODY ON THE FLOOR!

Many peoples hear gunshots and they duck on the floor many of them were afraid.

_Heh, I'd just beat the crap out of the idiots with Eisen._

Jack: Uh oh this will be getting trouble again.

_Why yes, Jack, this __will__ be getting trouble again._

Jack opened his backpack and disguised himself.

Then jack appear covering his face with white-blue hankerchief, a brown cap on his head and two brown fingerless leather gloves wearing on his hands

_FLAWLESS DISGUISE!_

Terrorist leader: Hey you! on the floor!

But jack ignored him

Man: Are you listening to me? I said on the Floor! said it angrily.

_I'm assuming he just had to clarify that he was angry at the end there._

But jack ignored again what he said.

Terrorist leader: Alright! die mother F****r!

_Yes! Kill him, kill him!_

Then leader is pointing his gun to him begun to shoot, But he ducked and misses him then

_Damn it!_

jack begun to run fast towards to him.

Terrorist leader: What the F***!

And punched him hard on the face and flew 20 yards and get smashed through the wall, The two terrorists are getting afraid, But they pointing there guns to jack.

_STU POWERS ACTIVATE!_

Terrorist 1: SH**!

Teroroist 2: SHOOT WHAT IT ALL COSTS!

_"AIM FOR THE PRICE TAG!"_

They began shooting and shooting but they misses their targets, But then jack clapped his hands and the green light suddenly appeared on his hands and form it into a green ball.

_What._

Terrorist 1: what the f**k?

Jack: LASER OF DESTRUCTION! while he blasted a huge laser towards to the two terrorists.

_Great, now he has magic. If there's anyone I know who shouldn't have magic, it's this dumbass. What kind of stupid spell is "laser of destruction"? And why is he narrating his actions in third person?_

Terrorists: SON OF A Bii-! *BOOOM!~*.( But they did not die they hurted them and they felt unconscious)

_They __exploded__ but they didn't die? Uh... magic doesn't do that, you can't explode and not die._

END of the Flashback.

_Thankfully._

Shikari: well then it's getting late for now.

_Really? Because it doesn't exactly seem like it._

Jack: Alright now goodnight. he went up stairs and go to bed.

_Seriously, where's the __Lucky Star__?_

Meanwhile

In Takara resident, Miyuki and her mother Yukari are watching late news the TV shows what happened yesterday.

_Oh, there it is._

Reporter: One day on honolulu international airport the security camera shows that those three terrorists are having a fight against a young man.

Yukari: What fighting a young man?

Miyuki: Why does those three terrorist want to fight with him?

_They have the noble cause of killing all overpowered fanfiction __O Cs__._

Suddenly the TV shows on the Hiiragi resident are also watching late news. Reporter: That a young boy first punched the leader and flew about 20 yards crashes to the wall.

Tsukasa: Did you see that !

Kagami: Yes i see it!

_Because that's how people talk._

Then in the other resident called the Izumi family are watching also late night news.

Reporter: Then he realeases a huge green laser and explode those two terrorists.

_Very official-sounding reporting there._

Konata: Whoa!.. daddy look

Soijro: Wow! that was powerful!

Konata: I wish that i would become like him! said joyfully.

_Apparently this guy thinks Konata is actually a little kid._

Reporter: The terrorists did not die during the fight they were hurt and felt unconscious

_Oh, they only felt unconcious. That's okay then._

and they were being under arrest by the cops and sent them to jail but the mysterious young boy vanishes after the fight.

Suddenly

Meanwhile inside Mt. Fuji the evil magician called Arkenius was been traped in an ice block for thousand of years until it wakes up, moved itself, cracked the ice and *BOOM~*.

_What._

Arkenius: Uff...Finally... a thousand years is over!

_What the hell is going on._

He raised his hands and spoke a evil legendary spells to wake up his stone golems and the clockwork army

_His what army?_

Arkenius: My comrades the thousand years is over! and we will gain revenge what that legendary assassin warrior who had done to us!

The Stone golems, clockworks and lizard demons are standing and listening their master.

Arkenius: Today if we find the assassin warrior we will kill him! and the world shall be ours!

_Who the hell is this bastard?_

The stone golems, clockworks and lizard demons are cheering for their master.

But then arkenius is laughing quietly and talk himself.

_Whoever he is, I'm glad he has the confidence to talk himself._

Arkenius: muahahahahaha the world shall be mine.

_"muhuhuhahaha I guess I should take over the world or something..."_

_That's the first chapter down. This author is an idiot! But I still dunno why this fanfiction is talked about so much. Maybe it's in the later chapters..._


End file.
